chervalier

so this post is gonna be all about different levels of attraction to people.. I’ve wanted to post about this for awhile since, well, it’s something that I’ve had to explain to quite some of my friends..

See I’m the kind of person who likes people on a varying level of degrees.. Much like most people, actually. We have stages/phases of Liking, as I’d like to call it.. And different people have different definitions for the same “stage” .. For instance, a crush is defined by some of my friends as much less serious than I define it.. So when my friends ask if I have a crush on someone, I say “NOOOOO” vehemently and they’re taken aback.. Heh.

So here’s my take on the different Stages of Liking (hereby titled SOL)

Starting from the least serious:

STAGE ZERO

Stage 0) Just to be meticulously accurate, stage 0 is apathy. Defined by a total lack of attraction or dislike towards a person. Negative stages will reflect the exact same amount of feeling toward a person, only the emotion is opposite (negative.. like dislike or hatred)

STAGE ONE

sure, I agree

Stage 1) I call stage one Agreement. It’s when you agree/acknowledge/admit that this person is attractive, but either you don’t like his/her character at all or you don’t know him/her well enough. You just think that you could see what someone else sees in the person.

STAGE TWO

Stage 2) Two is Attraction. When you feel that a person is good-looking/hot and would do the person. This is different from Stage 1 in that you don’t agree with general opinion (which is passive) but you actively find the person attractive. It’s still on a very low level though, and you still might not know this person well at all. However, you definitely don’t hate this person’s character.

STAGE THREE

Stage 3) This is the subjective/messy part where people might not agree. Most people put “crush” here but I’d put Appreciation as stage 3. Appreciation happens when you start to appreciate the person for his/her character and enjoy hanging out with him/her. You could even start imagining yourselves going out on a date and perhaps maybe even (note use of numerous qualifiers) probably see yourself in a relationship with this person.

STAGE FOUR

Stage 4) Here comes the Crush.. Stage 4 (the Crush) is defined by a desire to talk to and hang out with the person, as well as the wish to end up in a relationship with the object of longing (lol).. Here’s where my definition of a crush differs from what I know a lot of people have defined. I personally don’t develop crushes on people I know nothing about or have not spoken to on a regular basis. Some other people, however, are perfectly ok with labeling their attraction to some popular person in school as a crush..

STAGE FIVE

Stage 5) Beyond the crush, relationships are starting to solidify and we’re delving into words that have more weight to them. Stage 5 is a stage of Liking. You may or may not be in a relationship with someone but you have definitely had enough interaction on a regular basis to develop strong feelings for this person. You are concerned for their wellbeing and would do things for them that take up your time. You think about them a lot of the time but you still live separate lives.

STAGE SIX

Stage 6) Here comes the big L-word. We move from Liking to Love. I don’t think I need to explain this too much but most times at this stage, you’re in a relationship (not necessarily all the time) and you feel intimate with this person. You care deeply for him/her and (without being too explicit) would do things with him/her.. You feel the need to spend special occasions together and not only do you care for this person, but because of your feelings towards him/her, you also feel a certain amount of affection and concern for the people in his/her life (ie family members or close friends) Also, you’re ready to commit to this singular person by this stage.

STAGE SEVEN (& beyond)

Stage 7) Anything beyond Stage 6 is slightly scary. I have one all-encompassing stage for everything beyond Stage 6 and it’s called OBSESSION. Yup, Mariah Carey’s song indeed. Obsession is when you are so driven by your feelings for a person that you feel the need to see/hear from/talk to that person all the time. You resort to stalking the person (be it on facebook or in real life) to catch a glimpse of him/her or to find out what he/she is doing..

I wasn’t sure if I should put Obsession in the list of Stages because it isn’t really an emotion or a stage of loving-feeling towards a person. However, it is an emotionally-driven stage that does fit in on the spectrum so I left it in.

———————————-

And there you have it, the complete list of SOL. Of course the above is just MY personally defined list of stages and should not be used as a guide to all women/men out there.. Though if you want to talk to ME about how I feel about a person, this would be a pretty good scale to use =)

As for the question in the blog title… Hey I’m notorious for keeping my private life private (kinda) so did you really think I was gonna even acknowledge such a question? It was just a teaser to get you guys reading =D

Enjoy, guys, and ttyl! =)

PS and Disclaimer: None of the images used in the blog post are mine. I ran a search on Google and found them. No infringement intended.

Popularity: 18% [?]