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I went for a massage Wednesday evening.. The kind where you pretty much strip down to your birthday suit and let someone rub you all over in oils and creams. I wanted to post a full transcript of my internal monologue/stream-of-consciousness, but that would be too messy and crazy, so I thought I’d just put up some choice selections…

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“I really really hope I don’t fart.”

“I’m so glad I went to the toilet before coming here.”

“I’m so glad I went home and had a quick thorough shower before coming here..”

“I wonder if she thinks I’m fat. Oh my god please don’t be lesbian. Ok, that was WAY close.”

“Oh crap. I need to take a dump. DON’T PRESS ON MY KIDNEYS!”

“Ohhh this feels goooood.. This is awesome.. This… OMG ELBOW ON NECK! ELBOW ON NECK! HER.ELBOWS.ARE.ON.MY.NECK!!! WTF!?!”

“I really should try to sleep. That’s the hallmark of a good massage afterall, right? If i fall asleep? It means I was really comfortable!”

“Ok, I hope she didn’t hear that. It was kinda quiet. Hope it isn’t a silent killer. I think I should cough to cover up the next one.”

“TOO CLOSE! TOO CLOSE!! THAT WAS WAY TOO CLOSE!”

“I wonder if they change their sheets. How clean is this towel I’m on? Ew I’m going to take a shower as soon as I get home.”

“Wow, she has really smooth hands….”

“Poor dear, I think she must be really tired. I feel bad. Maybe I should try to shrink a bit so she doesn’t have to expend so much energy”

“Rainbows… Butterflies.. Kittens.. I’m not wearing anything =(”

“I’m on a horse”

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More, I think, but I can’t remember all of them, and I think you get the idea of what I’m like at a massage now.. Heh. Enjoy!

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Consistent I’ve been, eh? Yoda I speak, no? =)

Coming up next post: My new daily online habits. Stay tuned! =)

adfjaf

It was SUCH a blast! I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the BME. Everyone should go try it! =D Ok love you guys ciao!

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I thought I’d share some of my dailies here so that

1) People who are puzzled about the influences on my sense of humor can see what I find funny and hopefully understand my humor. (And avoid other embarassing funny-to-me-but-not-anyone-else incidents >< )
2) I can officially thank the people who’ve introduced me to these things for making my life so much more colorful =)

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Whenever I log on to the computer, the first thing I do is sign into my email to check what I’ve received in the several hours I’ve not been online =X. That usually leads me to facebook (notifications, thanks), youtube (occasional notifications) and whatever other things I have to sign into to get messages. I then do a quick check on twitter, scroll through my tumblr and quickly check the blog (usually just clearing spam =( ). I used to check in on my Snark acc too but.. I’ve been doing more lurking than posting there lately >< I’m embarassed to go back after such a long break.

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Facebook usually takes up a huge chunk of my time. When I’m done, I usually go straight to YouTube to see if communitychannel or CollegeHumor have posted new videos. I also check out the latest number of views for my channel and videos. When all that’s done and I want to sit back and relax, I go to one of JakeandAmir’s various channels that I’ve bookmarked, pre-load about 5, then sit back and watch them. If I feel especially indulgent, I load an episode of Torchwood or Friends to watch =P

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Anyhoo, that’s my usual routine for when I’m at home chilling. My daily breakfast routine (when I’m at work having breakfast or back from lunch) goes like this (in order):

- ClientsFromHell (thanks to Terry for sharing on FB)
- Failbook (cannot remember where/how I came across this. Possibly a link on Cracked?)
- Lamebook (googled. lol)
- Cracked (that person whom I cannot mention)
- CollegeHumor (Cracked share)
- NotAlwaysRight (MLIA page)
- HuffingtonPost (Cracked)
- Anything on Cracked’s Linkstorm – I especially like pages from ManOFest, AskMen and quite a few more that I can’t remember)

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Of course I don’t get time to read ALL of those, but sometimes I do, and then some. When I do have time on my hands, I like to read other sites like CIGAMWT, SMGS etc (basically a ton of sites I follow on Tumblr). I also love checking out TheOatmeal, Hyperbole and a Half, SWPL, SAPL etc.. Sadly, these sites don’t really update regularly so they didn’t make it to the dailies. Also, some sites I can only look at weekly, like Oglaf, Xiaxue and if I have the time, EngrishFunny. (EF used to be a daily for me but no more time..!!) I also read Wikipedia extensively.. ><

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There’s quite a ton of other sites I haven’t had time (or the sense of mind) to add in so I’ll be updating this post from time to time =P

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THAT’S ALL FOR NOWWW

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I know this used to be a rather popular feature here on chervalier so I’m going to try and bring it back. Today’s LOLShare is all about communitychannel ! I heart Natalie Tran much coz her sense of humor is pretty awesome and who doesn’t love that accent? Plus she’s asian and normal-sized but still HOT so plus points to infinity for that! =)

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In my opinion, she’s had 2 spoofs that were really awesome. In one video that was viewed by over 20 million viewers on youtube, she spoofed the following video tutorial.. Behold:

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Now note that the above pursebuzz video is a serious tutorial, that actually intends to teach you how to fake abs with makeup…. Yea.. I don’t like this chick though she’s also Asian.. She’s too… “cutesy” (inverted commas because she ain’t really cutesy, just trying to be) and her accent is grating, her voice hurts my ears.

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Anyhoo,  here’s Natalie Tran’s truly awesome SPOOF of the above video:

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Yea.. Note the difference! Natalie Tran’s voice is so much more soothing, and if you watch her videos you’ll know she rarely ties her hair in ponytails like in this video unless she’s acting as someone/thing else.

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Anyhoo, another one of her spoof videos that I found utterly awesome (i had to specify “spoof videos” because in general i love ALL her videos) is one where she’s presumably mocking MichellePhan (another famous Asian girl youtuber) in one of those “Look like XXX Celebrity with makeup!” videos..

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If you’ve watched any of those videos at all, you’ll find the following video truly hilarious. If not, you’ll still get quite a good laugh out of it. Watch:

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Choice quote: “I’ve chosen Angelina Jolie because we pretty much already look the same so there’s not much difference.. Not much work to do..”
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Gosh I love it. Trust me. Subscribe to communitychannel and you’ll find life a lot funnier in general =) I’m hooked!! =)
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In the meantime, I’m writing up more LOLShare articles so stay tuned! I’m also preparing entries for when the blog gets quiet so you should check back here often I guess. Intend to post at least 2xs a week =)
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Till the next time, ciao guys and hug a vegetable today! =D (edible or human, up to you)

Today’s LOLShare is something I received in the email from my auntie and I laughed till I wet myself!! Lol that was figurative. Anyway, this will be funnier if you understand Chinese but fear not, I will be translating them as best as I can.

The following are examples of HILARIOUS mistakes made by students of Chinese taken from their essays and exercises where they are told to form sentences when given certain words (zao ju).

PLEASE CLICK ON THE IMAGE FOR CLEARER VIEW ESPECIALLY IF YOU UNDERSTAND CHINESE. WAY FUNNIER THAT WAY. (Fast-loading!)

Translation:

Student: on the eve of Chinese New Year, our whole family went to the history museum to look at Ice Toilets (or cisterns)..

Teacher: Is there such a thing? I want to go too! (term used should be Terracotta Warriors)

Student: Last night, my friends and I went to a fast food joint for dinner. We ordered two burgers and a piece of chicken shit.

Teacher: Did it taste good? The shit? (It should have been “a set of chicken cutlet”.. the word meaning a set/share of something sounds like the word meaning shit)

The next few excerpts come from a segment where the students were told to talk about their favorite food or delicacies..

Top line: My favorite food is raw fish slices (like sashimi), but the only thing wrong with it is…

Bottom line: It’s never cooked well.

Student: I love to eat my grandmother’s cooking. It’s my favorite. There’s a lot of love that goes into the preparation of the food. However, if my grandmother passes away, I won’t get to eat it anymore, so while my grandmother is still alive, I have to get her to cook all 3 meals for me everyday..

Teacher: Is this considered abuse of the elderly?

Student: There’s a type of food I’ll never tire of eating and it is Twins. Everyone probably thinks it’s weird after hearing the name of this food. That’s right, it’s weird indeed.

Teacher: Is that considered an explanation??

The following excerpts come from a segment where students have to use the given sentence structures or phrases and form sentences. These are from Primary school students while the above examples were from slightly older students..

Given structure: while…

Student:  He removed his clothes while putting on his pants…

Teacher: So does he want to remove his clothes or put them on?!??

oops this screen cap has my msn friend signing in haha sorry

Given structure: one of

Student: One of my left legs is injured.

Teacher: Are you a millipede??

Given term: upset/sad (though the words literally mean “difficult to cross”)

Student: The ditch in front of my house is very sad (difficult to cross)

Teacher: Teacher is even more sad..

Given structure: …and…and…

Student: My mother is short and tall and fat and slim.

Teacher: Is your mom a Transformer??

I can’t explain this one properly but the given term means Thriving or Flourishing..  However, the third character in the term (向) means “to” or “towards”  so the student actually changed the sentence to mean “xin xin (first two characters of the term, here used as a name) confessed to(向) rong rong (rong being the last character of the term)”

Teacher: you’ve watched too many television dramas…

I’m not going to explain the next few because they’re like the one above and involve breaking up the term.. You’ll understand it if you understand Chinese.. Haha. Sorry for not translating!!

This last one (below) employs amazing use of Onomatopoeia… Haha

Given word: kuang qie (moreover)

Student: A train passed by, kuang qie kuang qie kuang qie kuang qie kuang qie kuang qie kuang qie kuang qie kuang qie…

Teacher: I might as well die..

LOLOLOLOL hope you enjoyed all these. I swear I literally had tears running down my face while reading this. There were more so if you want the full file, leave a comment and I’ll forward it to you! =)

Enjoy your Friday, people!

Heh! Some people are really too creative! First was Buffalax with putting literal subtitles to things he/she heard, now’s Literal videos with literally describing what’s in the video! Awesome. I think the singer is pretty good too! Heh.

If you liked this video, you’ll like the rest of the Literal video series.. It’s pretty funny, go watch!!

Alright, that’s this week’s LOLShare. Been busy so I hope you’ll understand. I’ll try to be on time with next week’s LOLShare! So watch this spot come Friday =) I’ll be back!!

Much love~

This week’s LOLShare is a Taiwanese variety show segment titled “案发现场 躲猫猫”.. Loosely translated it means “Scene of Crime, Hide and Seek”.. I suppose it kinda sounds CSI-ish..

Hosted by Taiwan’s star variety host Jacky Wu, this game involves setting up a place with items that are weird/illogical and then having celebrities go around hunting for them. The hilarity (and excitement) of the game lies in watching the celebs hunt for items that are right in front of them.. It’s even funnier when the celebrities pick up the questionable items and put them back down without saying a word!!!

A quick search on Youtube will give you a list of some episodes of the show… Many of you may already know of the existence of this programme/game but I only recently discovered it while watching television with my mom.. It’s such a great way to relieve stress =)

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Now, to make sure I’m not being unfair, and also to make up for posting this a bit late, I’m going to post another item for today’s LOLShare..

The above is a clip of a song that has been BUFFALAXED! I’m also sure many people are familiar with this because it’s wildly popular.To buffalax a video is to put fake subtitles of what you think the song(in a foreign language) is saying in English.. It usually results in amazingly hilarious effects.

When I first came across this a few years ago, I seriously must have bust a gut laughing!!! My favorite video is the one above (Saint Sea Hat) LOL. “Oh shit I knew your son!” has got to be my favorite line =D

For more Buffalax, just run a youtube search for Buffalax. Benny Lava is also effing hilarious (Indian song buffalaxed)

I have more to blog, especially a special thanks and shoutout to Dayna!!! The sweet lady has recently posted an entry about the 5 blogs she reads regularly and Chervalier is one of the sites she mentioned!! I’m so honoured and grateful =)

Dayna and I bonded over skincare product reviews and shopping tips on her blog and on twitter. We first got to know each other on the awesome Snark forum and kinda bonded because we were both Singaporean =D It’s amazing how you get to know people these days =)

Anyway, I’ve always admired Dayna’s excellent illustration and design skills. Her blog entries are also always great to read (especially the reviews!) Trust me, go visit AmourChaleur. You’ll be blown away by the beauty of her layout (and previous ones too!)

Also, if you have a website, you’ll want to join her Site Glamor Contest. Details are on her blog =) Head on over!!

Today’s LOLShare is something I shared on one of my blogs a while ago.. It’s a video of celebrities lip-synching to “I Will Survive” for Ellen Degeneres’s 50th birthday.. It remains one of the best things I’ve ever seen.. Watch:..

Isn’t it effing hilarious!?!??? I especially loved Jamie Foxx’s hand-signing towards the end, Heidi Klum being utterly clueless, David Spade’s general off-beat-ness and MASI OKA!! Haha.

Hope this cheers everyone up in one way or another =D I had a great day today with my Mom&Dad. More deets soon! TGIF people! Have a happy one!

Today’s Share isn’t so much a video per se as it is an entire series. My followers on Twitter will know that I’ve been watching anime / reading manga lately and in doing so I’ve revisited an old anime series that I used to watch – Ouran High School Host Club. It’s an excellent shoujo-manga series that is hilarious beyond words!

Ouran High School Host Club

Ouran is a series that follows the adventures of heroine Haruhi Fujioka (or Fujioka Haruhi) who is enlisted into Ouran High School’s Host Club – a club that serves to please/pleasure/entertain iow HOST the female students of the luxuriously elite Ouran High School.

Without giving too much away, let’s just say that she meets and befriends the members of the club, namely the president Tamaki Suou, Kyouya Ootori (vice-president), twins Kaoru and Hikaru Hitachi, HaniXXXX and MoriXXXX (I rarely paid attention to their full names and just called them Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai)..  And gets to know all of these characters pretty well.

The utter LOLness of this series comes from its over-exaggeration of everything (or perhaps just one character’s over-dramatization) that is coupled with deadpan captions. In my opinion the most hilarious character of all is President Tamaki, who tortures himself with his desire to watch over the group as the Otosan (Father) figure and silly fantasies about certain situations. It is EFFING hilarious!!

The many faces of Tamaki-kun (when he's overreacting).. My favorite is in the top right, when he hides in a corner.. LOL

My favorite parts are when Tamaki-kun does his stupid “huddle-up-and-go-sit/sulk-in-a-corner” act, much like he’s doing in the top right box of the above picture. It just kills!! And also his utter narcissism! Heh. More Tamaki-ness coming up..

Tamaki (right) and Kyouya (left) in their early days (when Kyouya still couldn't make head or tail of him)

Tamaki-kun in full-on CHARM mode

Don’t you just love how cheesy that last drawing was?? Lol. And the series is FULL of such drawings!

I also love that ALL the characters have different facets to them. And the reactions of the usually fearless ones to the “darker” sides of the usually amiable ones.. It’s ROFLMAO worthy! I love Honey-senpai for his utter cuteness! (The voiceover by the original Jap dubbing artiste is the best, hands-down. No lousy English dubs for me!)

Honey-senpai (middle) with the ever-present "cute" flowers around him lol

Just being silly!

I swear you will enjoy this series immensely. You can watch the entire series on tudou by following this link. You can also easily find English subbed or English dubbed versions on Youtube.

Ouran High School Host Club - The Gang

Enjoy meeting the gang from Ouran! They’re weird. You’ll love em! Ciao =)

Isn’t it the LULZ!? Thanks to Eugene A for sharing this! Seriously made me fall off my chair laughing lololol.

Not only is this video hilarious, the guy is an awesome dancer! I love how the rest of the policemen join in at the end.. And did anyone realize that they’re all him!?!?!? Awesome! And the dude at the back who just sleeps away. LOL totally!! Heh.

Enjoy your Friday, people! =D